either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
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