Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
