youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
