Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight

Fav 1 864 2017
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(425): View more from Washington

ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.

(206): View more from Washington

High?

(425): View more from Washington

hahahahaha turkey breast

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(505): View more from New Mexico

i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.

Fav 96 1818 8051
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(203): View more from Connecticut

If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over

Fav 4 2522 941
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(303): View more from Colorado

It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself

Fav 6 939 2186
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave

Fav 16 1931 856
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(843): View more from South Carolina

I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted

Fav 3 1391 823
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...

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