Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
