Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
