she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize