god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
