i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You dont lie about slip and slides
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
