If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize