No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
