how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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