It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
