grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
her vagine was all disorganized.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
