how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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