So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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