She is in my trunk
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
