Sponge bath it is.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
