He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
