i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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