Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
