My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize