she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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