i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
