so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize