I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You are the jesus of drinking
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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