I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
