I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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