All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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