Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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