I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
