well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
