but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
