remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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