This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
