someone threw a dead crab at me
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
