She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
