i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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