Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
