Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
