so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
