My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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