You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
