you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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