If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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