Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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