Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
