I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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