I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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