Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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