how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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