Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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