Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I want a musical about memes.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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