After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
