It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
