Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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