I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
