just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
