well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This baby is an asshole
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Randomize
