I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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