it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
